My parents live in Kansas City, the Land of Amazing BBQ. As such, I don't get up there very often to see them, and since they are getting older, they don't drive down much. One day in 2008, they called and said they were coming to visit my son and I.
I was ecstatic! They were even bringing my favorite uncle with them! They were going to a family reunion in Orlando of my dad's cousins and were going to stop and pick us up.
My mom had exclaimed to me that my uncle had gotten us a great hotel in Kissimmee for only $35 a night! What a bargain! I imagined myself being able to spend some quality time with my now-ex as he was always working and I never got to see him. Plus, with my parents being there, I could pawn our son with them for a few hours while my ex and I would have hopefully gotten down to "business" and get some "quality" time together, if you know what I mean. Wink wink.
Alas, that was not to be at all. We arrived at our destination. My ex asked me, "Is this for real?" when he saw the outside. I didn't know if the location was correct as it looked run down.
We went inside our room and discovered some grossness.
That hotel had roaches everywhere and was positively filthy. My ex went to pee and comes back with a horrified look on his face. "Baby, there were ROACHES in the toilet!" he said to me. "I'm not even sleeping under the covers. This is a nightmare. Don't even have your feet touch the floor, nor your socks!" As I laughed at what he was saying, he didn't find the situation funny at all. He fumed while he tried to sleep on top of the covers.
Since I wasn't going to be rocking the boat with him anytime soon, I went to my parents room next door.
When I was a kid and would tag along for the road trips that my parents often took to Texas to visit relatives or other places, we had several rituals. One of them is that my mom has a habit of wanting to soak in hotel bathtubs and read a book. She'll stay in there for hours soaking in nice, hot water, while everyone else has to do the potty dance waiting for her to get out. I guess it's because she assumes the bathtub is clean and that she can just soak. She probably just doesn't feel like doing that at home and taking the time to squirt the tub with cleanser and giving a little scrub even though their bathroom at home is fairly clean. Well, anyways...her bliss was cut short when black water or something nasty of that nature came chuffing out of the faucets. My mother screamed and got out of the bathroom very quickly.
My father began to shout talk and say "AH! I don't know why you need to take a bath! Just take a shower!"
"But, Mario, I LIKE to take a bath! My feet hurt!" my mother pleaded.
"No! You wanna get some crazy shit from that water?! EH?!" My dad has a way with words.
My mother was determined though. She cleaned that bathtub as best she could and let the nasty water run until it was clear enough to draw a hot bath.
That water still looked nasty, like someone had peed in it. Nevertheless, she was still determined.
The next morning when I saw my uncle, I admonished him. "Tio! What kind of crappy hotel is this?!"
He looked at me with his signature goofy look. "Renatita baby! I got this hotel because it was the most affordable! It even came with breakfast!"
Breakfast was at the IHOP next door for a low affordable price of $7.99!
My ex woke up and asked when we could leave. I told him after breakfast. He then asked where breakfast was, and when I told him, he said he'd rather eat something at a Wendy's on the way back to Jacksonville.
That was definitely a trip and hotel stay to remember.
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