Walking through the "Gates"

My title today has nothing to do with Heaven.

Unless, that is, you enjoy eating BBQ and you've found your perfect American BBQ joint and can consider calling it Heaven.

This adage is true for me each time I go home and visit my parents in Kansas City. I believe that Kansas City is one of the best places in the U.S. to get BBQ.  I say this unabashedly. I really have enjoyed the BBQ I have gotten from holes in the wall in Kansas City more than most places I have been to or lived in.  I've had BBQ all over the South, mostly in Florida and in Georgia.  Once in Memphis and another time in Maryland.

There is a fight amongst large cities in the United States over which has the best barbecue. Of course, most Kansas Citians Carnivores, both native and expat, will tell you that Kansas City has the best BBQ in the United States.  Other cities, such as Memphis, New Orleans, Atlanta, etc. will also say THEY have the best BBQ in the world. While their styles of barbecue may be delicious, as well as their sauces, I've been to so many different places in the world that serve BBQ and the only other place that I've been to that can top KC meats is any place in Argentina.

I will tell why I think Kansas City Style BBQ is better than any you've had elsewhere. In fact, I can tell you several reasons why along with a little history.

1) History

Once upon a time, more specifically, the Time of the Wild Wild West,  in the Land of the Midwest, there was a dot upon the plains called the "City of Kansas". First, it was actually a town, but then it grew into a cute little city. This city was situated at the confluence of the Kansas and Missouri Rivers.

Most "fast" transport before the invention of the railroads was done by wagon teams or by river steamboats.  Kansas City was quite important because of the two main rivers that flowed through.  The Kansas River was important because it would branch out from the western parts of the state of Kansas into the Missouri River.  The Missouri River was also very important because it started in the Rockies and meandered it's way southeast through the Midwest all the way to Saint Louis, the "Gateway to the West", and into the Mighty Mississippi.

Let's go a little backwards here.

You ride your raft or barge with your livestock - chickens, horses, pigs, sheep, cows, etc. up the Mississippi from New Orleans, let's say.  You hit Saint Louis. You want to go out west to Kansas City.  You make a left turn from the Mississippi into the Missouri River, against all currents.  After a few days or weeks, you've finally arrived in Kansas City, Missouri.

What's funny is that Kansas City originated in Missouri, but it's named after the Kansas River in Kansas.  There is also a Kansas City, Kansas. For those not familiar with the area, they think it's all different. For municipal purposes, it is. But in reality, it's all one big city, just in different states. All with the same name.

Ok, back to the Rivers...

Kansas City is important to American History because it was the final stopping point for all trails and roads and some rivers before heading West. With the Oregon, Santa Fe and California Trails setting out from Kansas City, there was a need to transport livestock out West.  Also, with the westward expansion of the railroad, Kansas City was the also one of the final stopping grounds before getting to Santa Fe or Denver, etc.

2) Selection of Meats

Here enters The Kansas City Stockyards and Live Stock Exchange, right off of the railroad, in the West Bottoms.  The West Bottoms is an area of Kansas City located right along the state line and also right off of the confluence of both the Kansas and Missouri Rivers.  It is a low-lying area prone to floods when the rivers overflow.

This was a place where livestock owners and buyers could haggle with each other for a good deal on livestock.  Before hand, farmers who needed livestock or who wanted to sell live stock would have needed to stop the actual train or wait until the next tiny stop to see who would be interested in purchasing their livestock or otherwise buying said livestock for their own farms.

The result before the Stockyards came into existence was pretty crappy. Farmers that were expecting big bucks for that prize hog they spent years fattening up could have gotten them a paltry sum.  The KC Live Stock Exchange prevented farmers from getting gypped.  The Stock Exchange also enabled others to see what kinds of livestock was available to them for better prices for their farms.

The end result was fantastic - farmers were happy and could take their mules, horses and oxen home or otherwise fill their pockets with some nice, loose change.

Other's were able to fill their bellies...

Many restaurants in the area began to experiment with the consumption of the different types of livestock.  There was turkey. There was chicken. There was beef. There was pork. There was lamb.  I am pretty sure there was waterfowl, too.

Anything with four legs or wings or fins that walked and swam the earth has made it to the barbecue pits of Kansas City.

3) Sauce

Kansas City Style BBQ has a distinct flavor of sauce.  It is mostly a molasses-based sauce, but it also takes on the flavor of the meats.

Every single BBQ place I have been to in Kansas City uses wood to smoke their meats.  The end result is something delectable...yum...

Hickory is best.

(Sigh)

My Favorite Restaurant

The last few times I've gone home to Kansas City, I never leave home without stopping at Gates BBQ.

I usually go with my uncle and my dad, but this last time I went home, I didn't go with my uncle as I was going home to say my fond farewell of the celebration of his life.

The day after the funeral, we went with my four Vallazza sisters, Ana Maria, Lourdes, Rossana and my parents and my son and nephew to Gates.

Gates is a Kansas City staple. In its glory days, it had way more locations, but I guess not everyone likes Gates. Other popular Kansas City BBQ places are Fiorella Jack Stack and hands down, Arthur Bryant's, but my favorite place is Gates.

Jake, being a Michigander who had never been inside Kansas City limits, described his first moments walking Through the Gates...

"All senses are enticed in their own way. The sweet smoky smell of the air greets your olfactory senses. The sight of happy faces busily working behind the counter as they bombard your ears with interrogative declarations of "you want beef on bun?!""

Screaming is more like it.

I guess I never noticed because I'm a Kansas City native. I walk in to familiar faces, scents and tastes.

They literally scream at you as you walk into the door, "HI!!!! KIN I H'EP YEW?!!!" If you're not quick to order, they ask, or scream, at you, "YEW WAN BEEF ON BUN? PO'K ON BUN?! CHIKIN ON BUN?! WHATCHU WANT, HONEY?!!!!"

As you order, you pick up a tray, and go down the line as if you were in a cafeteria. Once you get your food, you then go and find a seat.

Once you sit down, your mouth is seriously watering from all the goodness on your plate. I normally order either beef or pork on bun.  It's smoked meat of your kind, with the sauce of your choice and piled high with pickles and the biggest fries of your life.  Jake described the fries as 2x4's. For the record, they're just ordinary thick cut steak fries.

Jake described his experience thus,

"After you get your food and you sit down, your olfactory senses are intensified by the plate of food you carry to your table.  In his case, he had a beef on bun.  Hickory smoked brisket, with Gates Spicy BBQ sauce, pickles, and the thickest steak fries of your life.

After you eat your meal, you need a dolly to get you out of there. You literally fall into a food coma just from all the meat and carbs that you've just consumed.

Thank the Lord my dad was driving. Otherwise I would have fallen asleep at the wheel.

I can't wait to go back home to walk through the Gates.

The Argentine Adventures : June 2015

Do you ever wonder the "what if...?"

I sure do!

Towards the end of May this year (2015) , I kept thinking, "I really want to go to Argentina this year."  I didn't have a chance to go last year as I was unemployed from teaching.  Funny to think about it, but I'm unemployed YET AGAIN from teaching.

Anyways...I digress.

I wanted to go to Argentina this year. As you've read from my other posts, "I Heart Argentina". Yep. I sure do.

The problem with this year's trip wasn't the lack of time. I MAKE time for things I want to do. Nor was it really the lack of money. Since getting an elementary teaching job last year, I had managed to save some cash and pay off some bills, which was FANTASTIC!  My problem was that since it was close to the end of the school year for me, and this school happens to run only on annual contracts, I didn't want to put a trip on my credit card without a way to pay it off JUST IN CASE I managed to NOT get a renewal on my contract.

I decided I was going to be financially savvy for once and wait.

HA!

Yeah. Right.

I looked at flights on Kayak and Skyscanner. There was one flight, round trip from Miami to Ezeiza International (Argentina's main international airport) for $590!  I can't even fly home DOMESTICALLY to Kansas City for $590!  I passed on that one because there was a lay over somewhere in Bolivia and I don't want to be by myself in Bolivia, especially when I don't really know the country.

I kept looking and looking. Several friends in Argentina kept asking, "When are you coming to visit?"  I continued to tell them, "I need to wait until I get confirmation about my teaching contract for next year".

Well, the principal took her sweet time to inform me that I was not having my contract renewed. She told me during post-planning that it wasn't being renewed. I had to pack up my classroom and make 7 trips home and back to drop off my stuff. In fact, there were only two teachers whose contracts were not renewed, including my own. I find that a personal vendetta. I don't think the principal liked me. That's okay. She had this idea that the students would be fluent in Spanish by the end of the year.

 Well...let me tell you...I've been teaching for 8 years. There is no way that over 500 students will be fluent in Spanish when they've only had 30 minutes of instruction a day (give or take about 10 minutes because they need time to settle down, or I need to travel to their classrooms since there's some ridiculous "law" that students from Kindergarten to 2nd grade are not allowed to climb the stairs in school).  30 minutes a day for one week. Some weeks were cut short due to testing or to holidays cutting into the week. Then, I wouldn't see them again for another 5 or 6 weeks, depending on the grade level. Some classes I only saw a total of 6 weeks out of the year.

I'm sorry, but I hate to break it to you - unless you are living in a foreign country where you are thrust into the environment or even if I were speaking only in Spanish the entire time in class, there is no way that someone is going to learn how to speak Spanish with such unrealistic time allowances and constraints.  Bitch, please...Whatever...ONWARD to bigger and better things, baby!

So I bought my ticket anyways.

I'm headstrong and very impractical at times. Especially when it has to do with travel. If I have an opportunity to travel and I haven't met my credit limit, I buy myself a ticket!

I was set to travel June 14-June 29th.

After booking my airfare, which turned out to be $1054 US, including tax, I realized, I should have booked it a day later and returned a day later because it would be an actual pay day the 15th and the 30th. On top of that, I bought the ticket pretty much last minute because I was so antsy about going.

I asked my cousin if I could park my car at her apartment in Miami for two weeks and she said absolutely!

My trip turned out to be a very interesting mix of events, so to say.

I left Jacksonville for Miami on Friday afternoon. Ran a series of errands. Met with a few people. On the way there, I was so excited because I was going to listen to my music in my car.  Stopped off at Starbucks. Ordered a Venti Soy Chai at 8:30 p.m. and drank the entire thing in less than an hour. Got to Miami later than I expected, at around 10 p.m..

My cars speakers sounded as if there were marbles rolling around in them.  They also had that staticky quality about them. Not cool.

Ana told me, 'Park in the visitors spot when you get here".  I arrived and there were none available. So I parked in the closest available spot. I even had a Resident Raccoon greet me upon my arrival!  He was foraging for food in the dumpsters.

I told Ana what I had done and she said, "Well, I've never seen them tow anyone, but you should be fine."

We stayed up late, talked all night and went to sleep at around 2 a.m..

I slept for about an hour or two. I was paranoid that someone might see the suitcases hanging out in my back seat, break my windows and want to take them!  I kept waking up, looking out the window. Nothing appeared amiss. I saw the Renmobile, just hanging out expectantly waiting for our next adventure. I went back to bed, stalked some people on Facebook. Tried to sleep. Kept tossing and turning. Couldn't sleep.

Finally, 7 a.m. rolls around. I decided that I needed to take a shower and get my travel clothes ready. I also saw a visitors spot open and decided I was going to park my car in that spot.

I grabbed my keys, went outside, down the apartment stairs, out to my car and lo and behold...this is what I was greeted with...

Seriously?!  Are you seriously kidding me right now?

There was a tag on my window that said prompt removal of the boot would occur when I called and gave the company $89 either in cash or credit. Begrudgingly, I run back up to my cousin's apartment, grab my phone, go back outside, take a picture and call the number. I may have woke up the individual on the other side of the phone line.

"Hello?" That groggy voice that people make when they first arise from slumber.

"Yeah, hi. Good morning. I just came out to my car and I see this sticker on my window and a boot on my tire. I'm going out of the country today and I need to move my car. Can someone please help me remove this?" I asked.

"That will be $89 including tax," said the male voice on the other line. "I'll be there in 10 minutes."

"Is there any way we can reduce the price?  I just lost my job this week and money is kind of tight," I asked.  I mean, I also had dollars in cash that I needed to exchange on my way to Argentina so that I'd have some money to spend when I got there, like for food and stuff.

"Yeah..." said the man reluctantly. "I'll see what I can do. I might be able to drop it."

The man arrived within five minutes and took the boot off the car.

"That'll be $89."

Um...I was told that it could be less. I explained my sob story again to the dude.  He was willing to drop it to $59.  Thirty dollars isn't a bad discount. At least I got to save some money. I'm willing to admit the fact that I parked in a wrong spot. I'm okay with paying for my transgressions.

I told him that I had a credit card and he shook his head. "I forgot my credit card reader".

I rolled my eyes and said that I would have to go back and get the little cash I had left inside. I raced up the stairs again, opened the door, stomped around cursing my luck, found the cash and then raced outside again.

I handed the man sixty bucks and told him to keep the change.  He went on his merry way and I quickly moved my car to a visitors spot before another boot was immediately slapped on my car.

All of this occurred before 7:30 in the morning.   As you see above, I did put it on social media.

Hee hee.

By this time, with all the noise I was making cursing out loud and slamming doors, Ana was already awake.

"Renny...what happened?" She asked as she rubbed her eyes open.

I told her what had happened

"Ay Dios mio!" She exclaimed. I had no idea they would do that, she said.

Let's go ahead and get going to my job, she said.

We take showers, get dressed, and get going to her job, which is in downtown Miami, neak Brickell.  On the way there, we stop off at this Cuban café of sorts, where they have pastelitos and cortaditos.  For those of you who don't know, cortaditos are small little cups of Cuban coffee.  They're more like espresso, but with NOS infused in them.  You want energy?  You drink a cortadito.

Just right for Barbie!

Most Cubans, about 98% of them, will drink cortaditos with milk and sugar. I love coffee and I especially love drinking "café con leche".  However, in the last few years, I have developed a serious intestinal aversion to milk. I cannot consume milk, cream or ice cream without having major intestinal issues, a.k.a GAS. Though I can eat cheese without a problem, for some strange reason. Hmmm...I don't know. Weird

Ana and I each get a cortadito and I totally forgot to tell them to not put milk in it. I eat my pastelito and drink my NOS coffee and immediately, I feel like I am flying into outer space.

Actually, flying into outer space is a total lie, but I sure felt like it the way my pulse was raging.

...to be continued...see part two coming soon!